The #1 Best Key To Rediscovering Yourself After Motherhood

Have you been feeling a little lost since becoming a mom? This guide will help you in rediscovering yourself after motherhood and finding life fulfillment in this new stage.

Rediscovering Yourself After Motherhood

There’s no doubt that becoming a mother is a transformative experience. But it can also leave us women feeling lost and disconnected from our own identity.

This is actually something that we don’t we share with new moms enough, and the silence makes them feel alienated and depressed when these feelings come. Postpartum anxiety and depression settle in far too often without us even recognizing their signs.

But whether you’re a brand new mom or have adult kids, there are some super practical ways to rediscover yourself after motherhood. They’ll also help you find fulfillment in all aspects of your life.

One, in particular, can completely change your outlook on yourself and your life.

From self-care practices to pursuing personal passions, here’s how to start finding purpose outside of motherhood while still being a loving, present mom.

In this article:

Why do I feel like my life is over after having a baby?

How to not lose yourself in motherhood

The #1 Key to Rediscovering Yourself After Motherhood

3 ways to become your best self as a mom

finding purpose outside of motherhood

Why do I feel like my life is over after having a baby?

I’ll never forget thinking this exact question in my head, over and over again after my son was born 6 years ago. I was one of the first of my friends to have kids and the lifestyle change was shocking.

All of a sudden everything I once enjoyed in life, all the things that made me ME felt really difficult – almost impossible even. I genuinely felt like life as I knew it was over forever. All I could think in my head was, “Who am I besides a mother?

It’s super common to feel like your life is over after having a baby. This is because of all the significant changes and responsibilities that come with motherhood. This is especially true for moms who don’t have a strong support system around them.

But it’s important to remember that becoming a mother is just one aspect of your identity – and the years of our kids being young is just one stage of our lives.

Even if it feels like it right now, I promise your life is not over yet.

Adjusting to life after becoming a mother is no joke. But there are still so many opportunities for personal growth and fulfillment – even as a mom.

But you have to decide to fight for them.

Here are a few ways to get your life back:

  • Choose to carve out time to focus on yourself.
  • Pursue old (or new) hobbies or interests.
  • Seek support and community.
  • Explore new experiences.
  • Connect to your spirituality and faith.

All these things can help you as you start the journey of finding yourself after motherhood.

finding yourself after motherhood

How to not lose yourself in motherhood

Maybe you’ve been doing this mom thing for a decade or two now, and you feel like you’ve lost yourself in the demands of motherhood.

Please know that you are not alone – and it’s not too late to make some changes.

As our kids get older, it becomes easier to get creative with our time and find ways to fit in the things that help us feel like US. But you do have to set boundaries to make this happen.

Maybe there’s a certain day or time each week when you’re not to be interrupted by your family.

You can take yourself on a day date, try out a new workout class or meet friends for coffee. When you make time for activities and hobbies that bring you joy, it’s a reminder that YOU are still down in there.

Every time you focus on something you love or enjoy, you revive a little pre-mom part of yourself. (P.S. – Even if your kids are teenagers, it’s NEVER too late to do this!)

It’s okay to ask for help and take breaks when needed. In fact, you’ll go crazy if you don’t!

Embrace the journey of rediscovering yourself and allow yourself to grow and evolve as a person alongside your role as a mom.

Remember, taking care of yourself is essential to being the best mother you can be.

being a mom is not my identity

The #1 Key to Rediscovering Yourself After Motherhood

Okay here it is.

Want to know the biggest key to rediscovering yourself after motherhood?

Prioritize creativity.

That’s it, y’all. It’s as simple as that.

This is the #1 thing that I wish my counselors, doctor and even friends would have recommended to me on some of my darkest days.

You see, we as human beings are creators by nature. After all, we were made by the ultimate Creator of the world!

That’s why when we were kids, we could spend hours with some paper and a few crayons. We wrote stories and songs and made up entire worlds in our minds.

When you became a mom, you created a life – possibly the GREATEST creation of all.

And then for many of us – that’s when the creating stops. A postpartum identity crisis sets in.

No wonder we feel stuck. Unhappy, disconnected and discontent.

The biggest key to rediscovering yourself after motherhood is to start creating something again.

mom inspiration

These are a few easy ways to incorporate creativity back into your life:

  • Pull out a journal every morning and scribble out everything on your mind.
  • Try your hand at writing a poem or a song (it’s okay if it’s terrible!)
  • Find a recipe on Pinterest that you’ve never made and try your hand at it.
  • Buy a blank notebook and some new pencils. Sit outside and sketch what you see around you.
  • Visit a thrift store and dig for cool finds. See if you can piece an outfit together that you’d actually wear in real life.
  • For the next birthday in your family, create a card instead of buying one!
  • Invite a few other ladies that you know to meet a coffee shop to create together in the same space. Whether you’re writing, drawing, whatever – the community aspect makes it more fun.
  • Try taking an online class for something you’ve never done before: Graphic design, creative writing – you can find tons of affordable options on websites like Udemy and Skillshare.

These are all little things that might seem insignificant.

But I promise you the more things you do to wake up and revive your creative muscles, the more like yourself you’ll feel. You’ll start to feel a little lighter, a little freer – and over time you might start to feel like YOU again.

A big bonus: Almost all of these things you can do whether or not your kids are around!

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3 ways to become your best self as a mom

I don’t want you to leave without getting all the best mom inspiration to get you started on your journey. Here are 3 more key ways to become your best self as a mom.

1. Get your body moving.

If you’re feeling out of sorts, anxious, depressed or not like yourself, one of the best things you can do is get your body moving. 

In a study by the CDC in 2018, researchers found most people person on average have 3.4 poor mental health days per month.

But among those who exercise regularly? The number of poor mental health days dropped by more than 40 percent.

That’s huge you guys. Exercise and movement quite literally changes the way we think.

That means it changes the way we think and feel about motherhood – AND it changes the way we think about ourselves. 

So whether you take the stroller on a long walk, try out a pilates class at the YMCA or do a quick workout video on Youtube, every bit of sweat makes a difference in rediscovering yourself after motherhood.

new mom self care

2. Prioritize spirituality and your faith journey.

Some of you may read that headline and freak out a bit, but please don’t. You have a soul, yes? That means that you are a spiritual being that is connected to more than just yourself.

According to Pew Research, religion has positively associated with life satisfaction, happiness and morale in 175 of 224 studies. (That’s 78%!)

But many of us are so distracted by our cell phones, social media and the ins and outs of daily life that we rarely take time to care for our souls – the innermost part of us where we find peace, happiness and purpose.

If you’re in the process of rediscovering yourself, don’t skip over focusing on your inward well-being!

Because I’m a Christian who believe in Jesus, for me this looks like committing time to prayer and talking with God, reading my Bible and asking Him to guide me through big decisions.

This can also look like making time for meditation, spending quiet time in nature, regularly going to church services and reading other inspiring devotional and spiritual texts.

Who you are on the inside will reflect on the outside, so make sure you focus on the health and healing of your soul.

mom self care ideas

3. Find support from other mothers and build a community.

One of the most valuable resources for rediscovering yourself after motherhood is finding the support and camaraderie of other moms. Building a community of like-minded women who understand the unique challenges and joys of motherhood can provide a sense of belonging and validation that gives you hope and a new perspective.

I know that making friends as an adult can be super difficult, but it IS possible when you put in the effort!

Don’t know how to find mom friends? Scroll through Facebook and seek out a local mom group. Join a gym or the YMCA in your area. (Many of them offer income-based membership deductions when needed!) Visit a new church in your area or set up a coffee date with some other moms at your child’s school.

Sometimes you just have to put yourself out there and be willing to get a little uncomfortable to start experiencing the joy that community can bring. When you prioritize spending time with other moms, it can not only help you feel less alone, but also inspire you to pursue your own interests and goals.

Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and surrounding yourself with a supportive community can make all the difference in rediscovering yourself and finding fulfillment beyond motherhood.

how to find mom friends

Conclusion

It’s easy to get caught up in the demands of motherhood and put your own needs on the back burner. But taking care of yourself is essential for your overall well-being and the happiness of your family! Today I can say that being a mom is not my identity, but it is a huge part of my life that I’m learning to love.

If you’re ready to rediscover yourself and find a new sense of purpose and joy in your life, focus on building creativity into your life first.

Then, move your body, seek community and focus on spiritual reflection. Over time, you’ll realize you feel better and are enjoying your life in a brand new way. Remember, you deserve to prioritize your own happiness and fulfillment alongside your role as a mother. I can’t wait to hear how it goes!

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