I Know You Are, But Who Am I?

Who Am I?

It’s such a simple question that seems like anyone should be able to answer at a moment’s notice. Even a 2-year-old can typically tell you who they are. So why does that question get harder to answer as we get older? Why is the subject of identity so hard?

From a really young age, our identities are typically tied to what our name is, who our parents are and where we grew up. As we get older, we tie our identities to things like where we live, how much money we make, what we feel like our giftings are, and almost always what we do for a career, if we have one.

The answer to “Who am I?” should be simple, right? But the reality is often a radically different story.

The Trap of Comparison

At 31 years old, I regularly have mini self-identity crises.

It typically happens after 10 pm when I’m scrolling mindlessly on Instagram and thinking to myself, “What the heck am I doing with my life?”

Should I be further along, with everything? Did I make the right decisions to get me where I should be by now? Why can’t we be super duper wealthy? Is it be due to a lack of talent, or laziness in my younger days? Why am I not a gorgeous, waify Internet influencer? Sometimes I wish I was. And gosh, a jet-setting lifestyle seems like it would be AH-mazing right about now.

Especially for us women, I think it’s super easy to get into this mode of comparing ourselves to those around us, measuring our lives with the glimpses that we can see of other people’s. And then by the time we look in the mirror at our own selves, at our lives, it makes it really hard to see the good in what we already have.

When we compare ourselves to other people, it makes it really easy to forget who we are. 

What Makes You Who You Are?

Has anyone else ever gotten into a headspace or season of life like this?

Have you ever felt unsure, unworthy, unable to measure up?

Have you forgotten what you REALLY love to do for fun?

Have you disconnected from your true dreams and goals out of fear that they’ll never happen?

That they’re wrong ones, or that you’re purely the wrong person? I feel you.

But here’s the thing: What makes you who you are is YOU.

The unique, crazy, wacky, goofy, weird, introspective, sometimes nonsensical parts of you. And if you don’t see examples of that on your Facebook feed, that’s okay. It means you’re unique and original, just like you should be. You’re one of kind. The world needs you, the REAL you. Just as you are.

What makes you, you is everything about you that makes your heart soar and your eyes light up. And contrary to popular belief, you’re not your job or your last name. You are the things you love to do for fun. You are the unique talents or interests that makes you want to get up in the morning.

This Is Who I Am

If you’re reading this, I just want to remind you today of how important it is and will continue to be, to not drown yourself in the influences of the world around you. I want to encourage you to practice spending more time creating, reflecting, enjoying the life you do have, and remembering the good things that have already happened in anticipation of what’s to come.

Let’s get in the practice of spending less time looking at the lives of other people. Let’s spend less time comparing, drowning in what we are not, and forcing ourselves to conform to standards and molds that just don’t fit.

It’s really when I get quiet and set aside time to be alone, when I spend time praying, reflecting, journaling, reading my Bible, and writing on this blog that I fully remember who I am.

So as for me, this is who I am:

I’m Abby Flynn. I’m 31. I’m a loving wife, I’m a mother who is learning. I’m really, really type A. I’m organized and I love to have control. I bring people together, I create experiences. I tell jokes to fill awkward spaces. I am extremely loyal and fiercely protective of the things that I believe in. I have a lot of dreams that remain unfulfilled, and a lot of dreams that have come true. I’m grateful and thankful. I’m lost but also found. I am the me that I ‘m supposed to be.

So, who are YOU? Tell me all about yourself in the comments.