The Ultimate Encouragement For New Moms: A New Mom Manifesto
Has it felt hard to let go of your old life after becoming a new mom? Do the new mom blues have you feeling down? You’re not alone! This manifesto will help take a little pressure off your shoulders. It’s the must-have encouragement for new moms that you’ve been looking for.
Last year when we found out I was pregnant, I made a well-intentioned commitment to myself:
No matter what, having a kid will not end our “youth”.
Sure life was going to change, but we had to do everything in our power to be cool parents. I wanted all my friends to keep calling, and the invites to keep rolling in. Because why did life have to be any different?
Despite all the new mom meme content we all see on the Internet, I thought surely it couldn’t be that hard. We all know people who’ve dropped off the map socially when they started having kids. But no matter what, we wouldn’t be those people. Right?!
What To Say to a New Mother
As soon as I could muster the courage and strength to leave the house after my son was born, I started scheduling happy hours and catch ups, trying to fill the social calendar just like the good ‘ol days. This was mostly to prove to myself that I still had a life outside of the home.
But suddenly during 6:30pm dinners, my eyes were drooping. I sat through hang outs texting with Cole about how much the baby was crying, or trying to brainstorm why he wasn’t drinking his bottles that day.
I cried. A whole lot. And few of my friends seemed to know what to say to a new mother.
At first I was frustrated, upset even with our new life that consisted of cooking, cleaning, baby feeding, repeat. And then gradually, little by little we settled into it. I had a whole new understanding of why grown up friendships are so hard.
When friends texted about get togethers that could put stress on our family, we had to really weigh the pros and cons to decide if it was worth it. I got a lot more comfortable saying “No, I can’t” and “Maybe next month.”
And there was nothing more encouraging than the handful of friends who said what I really I needed to hear.
What new moms need to hear:
- You’re Doing an Amazing Job: Being a new mom is a challenging journey, but remember that you’re already doing an incredible job taking care of your little one.
- It’s Okay to Ask for Help: You don’t have to do everything alone. Asking for help doesn’t make you any less of a great mom; it’s a sign of strength and wisdom.
- Self-Care is Not Selfish: Taking care of yourself is essential for being the best mom you can be. Don’t hesitate to prioritize your well-being too.
- Every Baby is Different: Comparing your baby’s milestones to others can be stressful. Remember, every baby grows and develops at their own pace.
- Trust Your Instincts: You know your baby better than anyone else. Trust your instincts; they’re usually spot on.
- Good Days and Tough Days: Parenthood has its ups and downs. On tough days, remind yourself that tomorrow is a fresh start.
- You Are Enough: You don’t have to be perfect. Your love and presence are more than enough for your baby.
- The Housework Can Wait: The dishes and laundry can wait. Spend precious moments bonding with your baby instead.
- Moments Over Milestones: Cherish the small, everyday moments. It’s not just about the big milestones; it’s the little things that create lasting memories.
- You Deserve Breaks: It’s okay to take breaks, pursue your hobbies, and recharge. A happy and fulfilled mom creates a happy environment for her baby.
These are a great start and excellent mom reminders if you want to support a friend who just had a child.
The New Mom Rules
By no means have we figured out this whole parenting thing. But we’ve found our footing a bit in terms of what it means to be a parent, without letting that status consume our whole lives.
The reality is, when you become a new mom, you won’t be friends with everyone that you used to hangout with. And that’s okay.
If a friend’s birthday party starts at 8pm and you have a newborn, there is a 98% chance that you won’t make it. And that’s okay.
The new mom rules are different. And it’s perfectly okay to say, “I love you, but I won’t be at your party.”
As our lives grow and shift, so will our friendships. And some will grow stronger and truer, while others may quietly fade. This is normal.
Consider this your encouragement for new moms that in every area of motherhood, you are not required to try and make things work that don’t work for you and your family. It’s okay to realize some things in your life will have to go to make room for this new season.
No one tells us that’s okay. No one tells us that there’s a reason our parents only had a few close friends. This is part of getting older, of staying youthful, but growing up.
Becoming a new mom is truly one of the life stages that will help you to find your people. It all begins with accepting your life for what it is right now.
A New Mom’s Manifesto
Are you a new mom who sometimes struggles to find the balance between family life and the desire for a vibrant, “ideal” life outside the home? Consider this manifesto to be your Mom Commandments, and the New mom motivation you need to create a life that works for YOU and your family.
Remember…
1. It’s okay to not be the same.
You’ve been through a major life event change. There are other lives you’re responsible for. If you don’t think, act, or dress the same as you did when you were 22, that’s normal. You shouldn’t.
2. Not everyone will understand.
Don’t feel like you have to explain yourself to everyone, the way you feel, the decisions you make, your parenting techniques, and even what you choose to do with your time. You and your family may be called to a certain way of living that others don’t understand, and that’s okay.
3. Comparison is the thief of joy.
Someone else’s kids will always seem easier to deal with. Some other family will always take more vacations or have a nicer house. Some mom’s can unimaginably afford to stay home and still have a nanny, while you work 50 hours a week. Don’t compare. Your journey is your journey. Your life is your life. And there’s a reason it was given to YOU. Make the most of it.
4. It won’t always be this way.
You won’t always be so tired that you’re nodding off on the toilet. You wont always have grape juice stains on your favorite shirt and dark under eye circles from sleepless nights. Life is about seasons, and what you are in is simply one of them. The great thing about seasons is that they change.
5. You are still you.
You are still valuable and wonderful because you are still you. You still have strengths, and potential and exciting possibilities. You are still worthy of love and respect, even if there is dried spit up on your cheek. You don’t lose your identity when your life changes or things get hard. You are still you, and that is your power.
Do you know someone else who this encouragement for new moms today? Be sure to share this post with them, and let me know which commandment is your favorite!
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