Career Motherhood

Going Back To Work After A Baby

As I write this I’m both incredibly excited and a little bit heartbroken.
The reason? I’ve been offered and accepted a full time job.

This is great news because for the first time in a long time, I’m really pumped about the job and the company, and could definitely see myself being there for a long time. Everyone I’ve met that works there is great. The culture seems like an amazing fit. The pay is just what we need to stay afloat, and work on paying off more debt.

BUT it’s a little heartbreaking, because for the last 4.5 months I’ve been home with our son, Jayden.

To be home for most all of the developmental moments of his life so far have been huge. His first giggle, rolling over, neighborhood walks, sweet morning bath times, and even the endless poopy blow outs…

I mean, sure. There have been moments where I’ve screamed out of frustration, or literally just laid on the floor because I didn’t think I could do it anymore. But all those moments just remind me now of the incredible progress we’ve made – and how much more patient, loving, and selfless of a person he’s made me.

Unfortunately the reality is, there’s no way we can live in Nashville and work towards our financial goals without two incomes. And I genuinely like to work. I love having coworkers and a place to be a part of something bigger than myself. Not to mention I feel like a major boss when I’m able to financially contribute to our family. (Is that just me??)

Work After Baby - Abbyflynn.com

But there’s the constant worry about all the things I’ll miss being away.

Crawling, walking, talking… what if I’m not there for those major firsts?

What if I don’t get to capture it with my camera?
What if he doesn’t use his little voice to talk to me first?
What if he hates being with other people everyday?
What if he likes it more than being with us?
Am I failing as a parent?
Am I throwing in the Stay at Home Mom towel too early?

There are so many questions like these constantly floating in my head. I’m slowly teaching myself to be rational and push them down. I have to remind myself that helping to provide for my family is a way of being a good mother too.

There are 168 hours in every week.
So after the 40 hours where we bring home the bacon, I can still spend the other 128 hours nurturing my son, being a great wife, and caring for our little family well.

So yes, I’m fully expecting it to be hard at first. But I believe that God brought this opportunity, in the same way that He brought us our awesome son. And with a little extra strength and tons of organization, I think we can totally do this.

So I’m going to step out, and step back into the workforce with boldness. I’m going to hold my son tight every morning and give him like, 100,000 kisses before we place him in someone else’s care. And then I’m going to trust that the rest will all get figured out with time.

Any readers out there who went to work outside of the home after baby? I’d love to hear your stories, tips, tricks, whatever! Let’s talk in the comments!

 

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5 Comments

  • Reply Araea

    THISSS!!!!

    I went to work right after Maternity Leave with baby. 1- Because like you, I like to work and contribute financially to our family 2- We do better as a family financially when we have 2 incomes.
    I have discovered that I spend ALOT of quality time with my son outside of work. We always do cool things as a family. And since I only get a certain amount of time with him, I make that time count. For my husband and I it all as to do with the life we want our children to have… that life requires us to work. You can see as rationalization or justification but it is simply true. To create the home and stable family we want for our child and future children we have to make money. Each of us has to have some self worth too, and frankly while there is nothing more important than our children, our own growth and happiness is important too and it is unfair for it to have to come from them.

    July 31, 2017 at 9:30 am
  • Reply Laura Grahamn

    You know I have been through this a few times, and I can honestly say I wouldn’t have it any other way and let me tell you why ( from a mothering standpoint b.c truth be told I do love my job, but its good for them too)!

    It is so helpful to have other people involved in those early days, experts who can rationally guide you with things like schedules, learning to use a sippy cup and eat table food, nap times, potty training etc. When you are on your own it is hard to remain objective or know what is the norm and having daycare etc really helps with those things. It also makes the children more socially adaptable and easier to take care of when they are used to more than one person. … and when you have more than one child you will REALLY appreciate the ability to leave them with someone without the guilt and worry. If they are used to it they wont freak out when you leave them , so its good to start that now 🙂 Excited for you!

    July 31, 2017 at 10:04 am
  • Reply Eileen Santee

    I’m not gonna lie, going back to work after having a baby is hard at first. But then it gets easier and easier, and eventually you get to the point where you can’t imagine being home everyday. It definitely helps you to appreciate your time with your little one and you don’t take a minute with them for granted when your away all day. I’ll be praying for you! I hope it’s a smooth transition and that you’ll both adjust quickly.

    July 31, 2017 at 10:16 am
  • Reply Araea

    I totally sit in your same boat, Abby. And I have easy days and REALLY hard days. For my husband and I it all as to do with the life we want our children to have… that life requires us to work. You can see as rationalization or justification but it is simply true, to create the home and stable family we want for our child we have to make money. Each of us has to have some self worth too, and frankly while there is nothing more important than our children, our own growth and happiness is important too and it cannot come from them. It wouldn’t be fair to ourselves or to our kids.

    Thank you for sharing your heart xoxo

    July 31, 2017 at 10:53 am
  • Reply Grandma Carmencita Wood

    As Jayden’s Grandma it’s a little hard for me to know “other people are going to see and hold my little grandbaby more than me”! But, unfortunately, I live 8 hours away! But know this Abigail your mother will support you in prayer everyday and trust that God is leading you and will give this precious little one the best of care.

    August 2, 2017 at 11:49 pm
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